A New Beginning

I have wanted to start a blog for a long time.  I don’t know if I have just been too busy … or too scared … or just too lazy but it has never happened.  Nevertheless, I have thought about it, and wished for it, for years.  It might be because I am an external processor.  I’m not sure.  I DO love to talk and I ALWAYS have a story to tell.  So, here we go.  I will see how this goes.

Thanksgiving is in two days.  I have a kitchen full of cooking items and my purse is full of recipes.  As usual, I haven’t really started because, let’s face it, I don’t HAVE to start until Thursday if I want.  Story of my life.  It’s like I really can’t get myself started until I have to get started.

Our son came home from college today.  I picked him up from the train station.  It was so good to see him.  Good…and an adjustment.  (Debbie, if you are reading I DO apologize for all of the …  I know it drives you nuts!  It’s so good to have writers as friends) Anyway, back to Brandon, I know it will go by quickly and before I know it, he will be off to school again.  He sure is quiet upstairs.  I think he must be glad to be home.

About Thanksgiving.  Do you ever feel pressure around Thanksgiving that you must muster up these incredible feelings of — well — Thankfulness?  Does it every feel like pressure to you?  I realize that sounds crazy, even as I write it, but for some reason I feel pressure to be thankful and it feels awkward at times.  I wonder, “what’s THAT about?” Am I not thankful?  Am I not a thankful person?  Am I too busy and stressed by the holiday that I can’t stop long enough to be thankful?  Or…am I just an awkward person?  Whatever it is, I feel pressure.  But the truth of the matter is — I truly am thankful!  For so many things.  For a husband who loves me, (I don’t take that for granted) for Brandon, for my mom living so close.  For family members that I love. For amazing friends who never give up on me and show me such incredible grace and patience.  For a church that is life to me neighbors who are there for me. If I REALLY stop and ponder, I realize that I am incredibly thankful for God and Jesus Christ.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed with Thankfulness for God’s presence.  He promise to always be there…every day…no matter where I am…and he never changes.  That is definitely something to be thankful for.  My life has definitely had it’s ups and downs. I have no idea where I would be without God.  I mean that completely!!!  When I mess up, when I am rude, when I am impatient, when I am unloving, when I take things for granted…he is there.  Extending Grace….loving me… and extending forgivingness and his presence to me.  That means more to me than anything.  For that, (I just now realized) I really CAN be thankful.  And that is enough.

Let all that I am praise the LORD;

may I never forget the good things

he does for me.  He forgives my sins

and heals all my diseases.  He redeems me from

death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

He fills my life with good things.

My youth is renewed like the eagles.

The Lord is compassionate and merciful,

slow to anger and filled with unfailing love.

He has removed our sins as far from us as

the east is from the west.  Ps. 103

Lord God…take me to a Spacious Place.